TRIANGLE (2009)

January 24, 2026 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 2000s, bluray, Christopher Smith, horror, Melissa George | Leave a comment

TRIANGLE (2009)

*The cover to Umbrella’s Bluray release of Triangle*

Now and again you come across a film that is quite difficult to talk about without giving too much away, so, in an attempt to not be the Mayor of Spoiler-ville, here is the plot synopsis for Triangle.

Triangle is a film starring Melissa George that takes place on a boat.

There. Finished.

Not good enough? OK I shall try again…

*Jess (Melissa George) knows what time it is.*

Triangle tells the tale of Jess (Melissa George), a single mother who agrees to go on a yacht owned by Greg (Michael Dorman), a casual acquaintance who she met at the diner in which she works.

She turns up on the day of the trip seeming disconnected, and blames it on a few bad nights sleep and several issues with her autistic son, who is apparently spending the day at his special needs school. Once upon the vessel, she meets ship hand Victor (Liam Hemsworth), Greg’s best friend Downey (Henry Nixon), his wife Sally (Rachael Carpani) and her friend Heather (Emma Lung). Jess retires below decks for a sleep and wakes up a few hours later, and begins to enjoy herself, learning the ropes on the yacht and getting to know Greg better, but tragedy strikes.

The wind suddenly drops and a huge storm front moves in, capsizing the boat and sending Heather overboard. The remaining ship mates crawl on top of the upturned vessel hoping for salvation, which comes in the form of a cruise liner. From the half-sunken yacht they can see someone on-board, but after gaining entry to the ship, they find it eerily empty. Jess feels like she has been on board before, and the familiarity of it begins to make her uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as what happens next. Greg goes to look for the bridgehouse to talk to the Skipper, and Victor pursues the person Jess believes she saw, but within minutes both of them turn up dead, and not long after that that Sally and Downey find themselves shuffling off this mortal coil as well. The perpetrator of these crimes confronts Jess and tells her to kill all who come aboard, before going over and into the sea. Soon, hears shouting from outside and finds herself looking down at the capsized vessel that she herself boarded the cruise ship from, with all standing on the hull, including herself…

Now this is where I should stop, as all this all happens within the first half hour, so there are a lot of questions posed, and the answers come in riddles. Sufficed to say the ride for the rest of the film is a harrowing one – one that drops the floor out from under you just as you have seemingly grasped what the hell is going on!

Triangle was written and directed by someone who I hold in high esteem, Christopher Smith, whose credits include the Danny Dyer vehicle Severance and Franka Potente’s train ride from hell, Creep. He discusses on this disc that he was influenced by Pulp Fiction with its play on time, and The Shining with its claustrophobic atmosphere (the main cabin on the ship is 237, as is Jess’s house number.) I must admit I also see other influences like Herk Harvey’s amazing 1962 ghostly film Carnival of Souls and perhaps a little of Donnie Darko in there as well.

The film is masterfully directed by Smith, and he gleans some wonderful performances from his Australian cast. Admittedly Melissa George seems somewhat flat at first, but it is deliberate, and as her character is forced to deal with the various positions she’s put in, she gets an opportunity to shine.

Obviously from my synopsis you will be thinking that there is some kind of circular time thing-y happening in this film, but one of the things I liked about it was once you get used to that cinematic limbo trick, you find the film turns left and the circle both expands and contracts simultaneously. Reading back on that I appreciate that sounds like a whole pile of theoretical physics baloney, but when you see the film, you will appreciate it more.

There is a fair bit of CGI in Triangle, and most of it is so subtle you may not even realise that it is CG, though your ability to suspend disbelief will be shaken by the aforementioned storm, which looks quite fake.

The film is supposed to be set in Miami, but those of us who live in Australia (or Miami I imagine) will notice that the colour of both the sun and the fauna, not to mention some of the house architecture are clearly The Lucky Country (the Gold Coast and Southport in Queensland, in fact), and not anywhere in America.

I have to say I really liked Triangle. Usually films of this type that employ tools of deception to confuse the viewer give me the shits – like After, or Jacob’s Ladder – but with the script’s constant shifting, I found the film to be intriguing and entertaining. This is certainly a film that needs to be watched properly, and not abandoned halfway through for a toilet break… use the ‘pause’ key people! There are many clues throughout the film about what is going on, alluding to exactly Jess’ supernatural situation, so stay alert for them, though you will see them more upon subsequent viewings.

Extras:

We have a great collection of extras on this disc.

There is also an excellent commentary by Christopher Smith where as writer and director he explains most of the aspects of the film, and a new one with producer Chris Brown, moderated by Shayne Armstrong, and yet another new one with the Director of Photography Robert Humphreys and Production Designer Melinda Doring.

Four Sided Triangle is a new interview with Director Smith where he recalls the making of the film.

Ghost Ship is a new interview with producer Julie Barnes. Barnes is a frequent collaborator with Smith and this interview isn’t just about him and this film but also about horror in general.

Phantoms of the Seas is a discussion on nautical horror by Alexandra Heller-Nicholas. It’s a fascinating look at the mysteries of haunted ships, not just in cinema but in legend, and in fiction.

The Making of Triangle is a pretty thorough ‘making of’ doco which shows not just how a film is made, but looks at how financial backing can be a bitch. It approaches the art from many angles and has plenty of interviews and behind the scenes stuff for fans of film-making.

Deleted Scenes shows a few unnecessary scenes that rightfully were omitted from the film. Sometimes things don’t need to be as spelt out as what scripts may feels they need to be.

The Storyboard Gallery is a look at the storyboards for a few of the scenes.

Storm Featurette sees visual effects supervisor Ivan Moran discus what he and his crew did visually for the film. Frankly this piece feels more like a trade show showreel rather than something that is supposed to be informative. I will admit though some of the scenes that were revealed to be CGI were astonishing while others were unfortunately obvious.

There’s also a Trailer and Behinds the scenes, storyboard and set build gallery. I’m usually a critic of stills galleries as an extra but storyboards are always cool to see.

Film: 8/10

Extras: 6/10

Rewatchability: 5/10 but it is worth doing to spot some of the clues.

*Victor (Liam Hemsworth) needs Jess’s friendship like a hole in the head.*

This Bluray was purchased from JB HiFi.

THE PINKY VIOLENCE COLLECTION

January 10, 2026 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 70s, action, dvd, exploitation, sexploitation | Leave a comment

THE PINKY VIOLENCE COLLECTION

*The cover to Panik House’s DVD collection*

In 1970, many of the Japanese movie studios were moving out of entertainment and were taking their fortunes from investments in real estate. Some studios continued to make films, but of the ‘Pink’ variety, softcore porno with touches of either tenderness, S and M, or both! Television was taking a huge bite out of the movie producer’s wallet, so some studios decided it was time to make cinema where you could see things that were not able to be made for television.

These films were like the American gang films of the sixties and seventies, and with their combination of violence and soft porn, were nicknamed Pinky Violence. These ‘Pinky Violence’ films featured bad girls, ‘sukeban’, who used violence and sex to get what they wanted, and what they wanted was money and power…and to be free of the bindings of men. Panik House have pulled out all the stops with this spectacularly packaged 4 DVD set of films in The Pinky Violence Collection, which features four of Toei Studios entries into the genre.

Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confessaka Zubeko Bancho: Zange No Neuchi Mo Nai, directed by Kazuhiko Yamaguchi is about Rika (Reiko Oshida) who, after leaving a Reform School, visits the father of a school mate who owns a garage that the local Yakuza are trying to take over.

After a chance encounter with another ex-classmate, this wanna be girl gangster ends up on a collision course with the Yakuza…and a violent outcome.

Girl Boss Guerilla aka Sukeban Gerira, directed by cult movie legend Norifumi Suzuki tells the tale of the all girl biker gang, The Red Helmet Gang, led by Sachiko (Miko Sugimoto) who move into Kyoto to take over all the girl gangs there.

Once that mission is accomplished they take on various money making schemes until they fall afoul of a local Yakuza, and with help from local girl gang legend, Nami (Reiko Ike) they do whatever they can to take him and his henchmen down.

Terrifying Girl’s High School: Lynch Law Classroom aka Kyofu Joshikoko: Boko Rinchi Kyoshitsu, again directed by Norifumi Suzuki is the story of new student, Noriko (Miki Sugimoto) and her friends trying to survive in a tough all girls school controlled by a gang of mask wearing bullies and a dishonest administration, all being overseen by a corrupt politician.

When they are approached by a blackmailer to bring down the politician, they get help from local Yakuza girl, Maki (Reiko Ike).

Criminal Woman: Killing Melody aka Zenka Onna: Koroshi-bushi, directed by Atsushi Mihori, has us watching Maki (Reiko Ike), who’s father, after faithfully serving the local Yakuza, is murdered and she herself raped when he is deemed useless to the gang.

She tries to kill the Yakuza leader, but is caught and thrown into prison, where she forms a gang (including Miki Sugimoto) who will help her bring down the Yakuza by setting up a gang war, and when the two gangs start to pick each other off, she will be able to get closer to her victim.

If they keep the sort of quality in this package, and with the Elder Sister Series releases, America’s Panik House is looking like a future leader of Japanese cult films on DVD. This sort of collection is the stuff that would give Quentin Tarantino, and his love of seventies exploitation cinema, a wet dream. Many parallels can be made with these films and those of the blaxploitation genre, specifically Pam Grier’s entries, and the Russ Meyer influence (with men being dumb and strong but the women holding all the power), especially Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! are obvious. These films are full of beautiful girls, baring their breasts and beating the crap out of each other… what else could you want from exploitation films?

Extras:

The packaging of this set from Panik House is so unique; it should be classed as a special feature itself. The four films are collected in an unusual, fluorescent vinyl package with a knife wielding Sukeban on the cover, who, with the current interest in kogal fashions, wouldn’t look out of place in a Gwen Stefani film clip. In actual fact, the influence of the fashions these girls wore is apparent in many other genres, from pop music to cartoon characters.

There is an excellent 24 page booklet in this set, written by the author of Outlaw Masters of Japanese Film, Chris D, which gives a brief, but complete history of the origins of Pinky Violence.

Each disc has a commentary by an aficionado of Asian cinema: Girl Boss Guerilla is done by Panik House President Matt Kennedy and Asian Cult Cinema magazine columnist Wyatt Doyle, Criminal Woman: Killing Melody is by film critics Andy Klein and Wade Major, which leaves Chris D to do the commentary for Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom and Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess.

All the discs have a variety of smaller extras such as picture and poster galleries, trailers, production notes and cast and crew biographies.

This collection also features a CD with songs performed by Pinky Violence star Reiko Ike. It is basically lounge music with lyrics provided by a singer who has been recorded at the peak of orgasm. It’s funky, and occasionally amusing.

There is a sticker feature the image from the front of the packaging.

Average of 4 films: 6/10

Extras: 10/10

Rewatchability: 6/10

This box set was purchased from Amazon about 20 years ago.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

December 25, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 90s, batman, bluray, superhero, superheroes | Leave a comment

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

*The cover to the Batman Returns Bluray*

These young Marvel whippersnappers in the 21st Millennium really have no understanding of what a phenomena the first Tim Burton Batman film. Everyone, and I mean everyone, had Batman merch. Pop culture today wouldn’t be where it is because this Batman film legitimised the superhero as something other than a thing that kids consumed.

Sure the marketing that supports films like Avengers and Spiderman are like that now, and the #release the Snyder cut was a social media sensation, but when this film came out there wasn’t social media, so all the Batman hype was word of mouth supported by the single striking image of Batman’s emblem.

Of course, it’s crazy popularity spawned a sequel and just like Die Hard, Batman Returns is an even split action film and Christmas movie.

As I side note, the early 90s were such a dry time for horror and the promise of a Batman character on the cover of a magazine meant that even Fangoria, the cornerstone of all things horror at the time, put the Penguin on the cover in an attempt to garnish an increase in sales.

What was Batman’s latest adventure, well, hold onto your cowls!

Gotham City is thrown into chaos during the Christmas season when a deformed outcast known as the Penguin (Danny DeVito) emerges from the sewers, seeking revenge against the society that rejected him. Aligning himself with corrupt tycoon Max Shreck (Christopher Walken), the Penguin launches a campaign to become mayor while secretly plotting to destroy the city’s children. Meanwhile, Shreck’s timid secretary Selina Kyle Michelle Pfeiffer) is transformed into the vengeful Catwoman after a near‑death experience, setting her on a collision course with both Shreck and Batman (Michael Keaton), who has already been dealing with problems caused by the Curcus of Crime.

As Batman struggles to protect Gotham, he faces the dual threat of Penguin’s monstrous schemes and Catwoman’s unpredictable vendetta. The battle culminates in a showdown beneath the city, where alliances unravel, identities are exposed, and Gotham’s fate hangs in the balance.

As with the previous film, the look of this is something of a visual feast. Every look created in the first film by Anton Furst and Tim Burton was built upon to create an even more obtuse and impossibly gothic city.

The costume design reflects this as well. It’s this amazing mix of bondage gear and 19th century attire all via a mid 80s London gothic nightclub. The amazing thing is how all the costumes really reflect the inner workings of the characters, from the Penguin’s need to be accepted with his attempt an finery, to Catwoman’s fractured state and her badly stitched outfit that slowly falls apart as she descends more and more into madness.

Keaton still somehow kicks butt as Batman too. I must admit to being a hater of the idea of Mr Mom being the Bat in the first film but I was very quickly swayed by his performance, and it continues here.

I do have one massive problem with this film and it’s something that many superhero films do now, and that is they suffer from T.M.V.S.: Too Many Villain Syndrome and it makes the story a bit of a trial to keep tabs on all that’s going on. With a big team movie like The Avengers, that’s ok, but when it’s essentially one guy… and I reckon Batman works best as one guy… against so many villains with their multiple plots, it becomes muddy and the prime villain seems less of a threat.

Like many sequels, this film is nowhere as good as the first, but it’s still entertaining and a feast for the eyes.

Extras: Extras? You want Extras, you say? Well sit down and get ready for this cavalcade of stuff, and I’d just like to point out that this comes from a time when extras weren’t a couple of five minutes ‘behind the scenes’ stuff and a gag reel that clearly has nothing funny happen in it, and it’s generally the best acting any of the actors do with the film. I’ll also point out that on this disc a lot of the extras were shot on videotape so they look like shit.

There’s a Commentary by Tim Burton which are great to listen to as his love of the creative process is evident.

The Bat, The Cat and The Penguin is a behind the scenes look at the making of the film with interviews dozens with cast and crew.

Shadows of the Bat Part 4: Dark Side of the Night is the 4th part of a Batman documentary series that went across the Bluray releases for Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever and Batman and Robin. Really fascinating and altogether a real complete look at these four films. I will admit the best parts are the Joel Schumacher parts on the next two discs as the describe what a clusterfuck this franchise became when they realised what a marketing minefield it was.

Batman: The Heroes including Batman and Alfred, and The Villains, including The Penguin, Catwoman and Max Schreck are short dissections of the characters of the film by various writers and creators.

Gotham City Revisited is a fascinating look at the production design of the film.

Sleek, Sexy and Sinister is a fantastic look at the amazing costumes of the film.

Making up The Penguin looks at DeVito’s make up as this deplorable horror show that in the Penguin.

Assembling the Arctic Army discusses the wrangling and complicated methods needed to assemble the Penguin army.

Bats, Mattes and Dark Nights disassembles the special effects of the film.

Inside the Elfman Studiotalks to Danny Elfman about the music of the film, and I’m a big Oingo Boingo fan so I’m always happy to see interviews with him.

There is also the film clip for Face to Face by Siouxsie and the Banshees and, of course, and Theatrical Trailer… phew!

Film: 7/10

Extras: 8/10

Rewatchability: 8/10

This Bluray was purchased from JB Hifi

BEETLEJUICE (1988)

December 13, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 4K, tim burton | Leave a comment

BEETLEJUICE (1988)

My first exposure to Tim Burton;s work was either with Batman or Beetlejuice. I honestly can’t remember which one I saw first but I think that my initial rejection of Michael Keaton as Batman may have been in response to his performance in Beetlejuice, or maybe, being brought up on Adam West’s Batman that I didn’t believe anyone else could do it.

Obviously that was false, as Keaton has a massive amount of versatility that allows him to do any role, though I suspect that the crazier the character, the more at home he may be.

*Our lovable couple, Adam (Alec Baldwin) and Barbara (Geena Davis)*

Burton’s work appealed to me for so many reasons: the Charles Addams-esque art style, the sublime comedy and his passion for Danny Elfman’s musical work, which was something I had discovered a few years earlier when a friend told me I’d probably love Oingo Boingo because of my love of The Cure, and other bands of that type.

This film also had appeal to me because of the actors involved. The aforementioned Keaton was someone I liked in Mr. Mom and Night Shift and Geena Davis who I fell in love with while watching David Cronenberg’s remake of The Fly.

The perfect storm for my taste at the time.

You should have seen Beetlejuice by now, but if you haven’t… and WHY haven’t you… here’s a brief synopsis.

Adam (Alec Baldwin) and Barbara (Geena Davis) are living their perfect life in the country when tragedy happens and they die! What’s worse is they are trapped in the house they loved for eternity… and by worse I mean their quaint cottage is purchased by an obnoxious city couple, Charles (Jeffrey Jones), Delia (Catherine O’Hara) and their daughter Lydia (Winona Ryder) whose intention is to change everything.

However, Adam and Barbara find out that in the afterlife there are things called ‘bio-exorcists’, ghosts who have the skill set of getting rid of anyone living, and so they hire Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton), but what happens if you find out the pest controller is worse than the pests…

*The ghost with the most, baby; Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton)*

The short description of this film is brilliant.

It’s funny but not stupid, the cast all play their parts just so perfectly, and even the smaller parts of the ‘city folk’, like interior decorator Otho ( Glenn Shadix) are such wonderful parodies of ‘that type of person’ with their obsessions of image and status. Baldwin and Davis’s character are such victims of the oppressive ‘progressive civilised’ world, and are so… well, normal… that the anxiety ridden, heavily medicated city family are almost alien in their outlandish behaviour and dress.

Winona Ryder must be also pointed out as a standout role. She certainly is the patient zero of the bored teenager type, that unfortunately we see in the real world today, taking personalities like Ally Sheedy’s in The Breakfast Club and turning up the volume.

The visual style of the film is perfectly Burton’s, over the top and cartoonish, but totally acceptable within the confines of the world, and the macabre shapes suit both the world of the dead and the world of the people from the city, both intruding on the simplicity of country styling with a similar invasive quality. The juxtaposition of these two ‘enemy’ worlds with the rural atmosphere are such a visual feast.

All in all, Beetlejuice will forever be a classic of its type of film… I can’t define what type of film that is, but it is a classic of it!

Extras: The 4K disc in this package doesn’t have any extras with it, but the accompanying Bluray has three episodes of the cartoon: A-ha!, Skeletons in the Closet and Spooky Boutique. I never thought this was a great cartoon but I know it certainly does have a huge fan base so those people will enjoy those extras. It also has an option to watch the film with the music only, which is a great way to highlight Elfman’s wonderful score, and it also has the original theatrical trailer.

Film: 10/10

Extras: 6/10

Rewatchability: 10/10

This 4K Bluray was purchased from Metal Movies

WEDNESDAY SERIES 1

December 6, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged Addams family, tv, Wednesday | Leave a comment

WEDNESDAY SERIES 1

*The cover to the Australian Bluray release*

I’ve been a fan of The Addams Family for as long as I can remember. I loved the 60s TV show, along with the Munsters, and retrospectively the original comics by Charles Addams. Being a monster kid whose father bought him Famous Monsters, both of these shows really appealed both in aesthetic and design… and they were funny too.

This love led me to love the films starring Raul Julia, Angelica Houston and Christina Ricci, and it was certainly Ricci who stole the show, and made Wednesday a force to be reckoned with rather than just an accessory like she felt like she occasionally was in the original TV show.

Flash forward to about ten years ago when actress/ writer Melissa Hunter did the funny two season Adult Wednesday Addams series on YouTube, which proved that this character actually can hold a lot of water both in the ground laid by Christine Ricci and the fact that everyone loves a goth girl character.

This idea, combined with standard teen detective girl tropes started in 1954 with Edward Wheeler’s New York Nell and popularised by Nancy Drew books in the 1930s which carried forth through TV series and movies of the same name, along with other characters like Veronica Mars, Enola Holmes and many others. Twisting the goth girl Wednesday into a Scooby Doo-like mystery series seems to be a match made in a dark, spooky, black lace decorated heaven.

Wednesday premiered on Netflix in 2022 and thankfully here in Australia, we got a Bluray release… thankfully it didn’t go on the Disney channel other wise we wouldn’t have received a release at all.

Wednesday Series 1 introduces us to Wednesday Addams (Jenna Ortega), who has recently discovered that she has psychic flashes when she touches some people, and is being banished to the school for ‘special’ children called Nevermore Academy, in the town of Jericho, after she emptied piranha into the pool her old schools polo team, and her brother Pugsley’s (Isaac Ordonez) bullies.

Nevermore Academy is where her mother Morticia (Catherine Zeta Jones) also went to school, and the principal is a classmate, Larissa Weems (Gwendoline Christie) and their relationship seems to be uneasy at best, due to the families history, including her father Gomez (Luis Guzman) having been accused of murder around the same time.

Soon after Wednesday’s arrival, two things happen: she meets her super-cutesy, easily-exited werewolf roommate Enid (Emma Myers) whom she is the complete opposite, and a murder happens in the woods outside the school.

*Edith (Emma Myers) shows Wednesday* around the school

The townsfolk blame the students of the school full of weirdos for the murder, and Wednesday, with her new powers, injects herself into the investigation, which brings her at odds with the local law as they know she’s an Addams, and that can only mean bad news.

This show shouldn’t be good. It almost boringly rides the tropes of the loner, the investigator teen, the goth cutie, and almost deliberately references so many school based media, from Harry Potter to Revenge of the Nerds, that it honestly should NOT work…

… but it does, and it does so with gusto.

This would be for several reasons. The first is the absolutely perfect casting. Every character is amazing in their role and Ortega nails the brief, delivering every line with unblinking malice… actually, I don’t think she blinks once in the entire series! Jones and Guzmán are fantastic as Morticia and Gomez, and actually look like they genetically could be the children’s parents. The rest of the cast are also wonderful, and the inclusion of es-Wednesday Christina Ricci as one of the teachers is a delicious nod to the shows origins.

The story is very Scooby Doo, with family ‘handy’-man Thing being a great substitute for the dog, and a fine partner to Wednesday’s Velma-esque stylings and intelligence, but that doesn’t stop it from being a fun investigative story. The sublime comedy is of course what one would expect, with every line dripping with morbid ‘my ancestor was hanged for that very crime’ type stuff. Weirdly, it should get old, but it never does. There’s other moments of carnage that are a great deal of fun, like a statue of the town’s witch-hunting founder being revealed whilst a band plays ‘Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow’ during the dedication. Subtle and clever.

Burton’s style is injected in every scene and works very well with the tale, and I’m not sure the show would have worked so well without it.

I think this show cleverly appeals to such a vast audience as it taps into those who loved the Addam’s movies and it also still delivers the message of ‘being yourself is fine’, something teenagers relate well too.

I impatiently await season 2 of this show, and truly hope that this isn’t lightening in a bottle. I think that this, from an entertainment and a product point of view, is actually perfect. I will admit though that the Rewatchability isn’t high as with most detective shows because once the secret is revealed, it’s hard to maintain the highs of the show.

Extras: Sadly, nothing! I would have loved some behind the scenes stuff, or even some of Burton’s design drawing which I’m sure were as much fun as all his product.

Film:10/10

Extras: 0/10

Rewatchability: 5/10

This Bluray was purchased from JB Hifi

Gothic Greetings!!

December 1, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile | Leave a comment

This year for December I thought I would have a little fun and just do all Tim Burton films so I can wish you all Gothic Greetings for the Silly Season.

I hope you enjoy this celebration of both Tim Burton’s work, and of Christmas.

Be safe.

J.R.

THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE (2016)

November 29, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 2010s, bluray, ghost, horror, witch | Leave a comment

THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE (2016)

I need to start the review with a caveat: I’m not really a fan of this type of supernatural film. The Conjuring universe may be the highest grossing horror franchise of all times… but I don’t rate it. I’m not someone who enjoys a supernatural ‘ghostly’ tale. I like my horror more grounded in a physicality of reality rather than a metaphysical one. I like my slashers and my zombies and my monsters but tales about ghosts, well, I’m not one to actively seek them out unless they are well made, or with actors that I like.

That being said, however, and sadly I’m burying the lead here, I think this film is an absolute, top-level, corker of a supernatural ghostly film. Ten out of ten, nothing else to write, amazing flick, everyone must watch.

…

… oh, you’re still here? You want a ‘proper’ review of a film I’m obviously going to gush all over. Ok then…

*‘Jane Doe’ (Olwen Catherine Kelly) is found*

The Autopsy of Jane Doe was written by Ian Goldberg and Richard Naing who wrote the screenplay for Eli and The Nun II, but do not judge this film by those credentials. It was directed by André Øvredal, who blasted out of the gates with the well-regarded Trollhunter (2010), and also gave us the wonderful Scary Tales to Tell in the Dark (2019). Øvredal had seen The (aforementioned) Conjuring and asked his manger to find him a script with a similar old school supernatural feel, and this amazing horror film was born.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe tells of father and son morticians, Tommy (Brian Cox) and Austin (Emile Hirsch) Tilden who have finished their grisly but necessary work for the day, and Austin is about to head out with his date, Emma (Ophelia Lovibond) when the town sheriff, Burke (Michael McElhatten) turns up with a late emergency autopsy.

On a gurney is the corpse of Jane Doe (Olwen Catherine Kelly), found half-buried in the basement of a house that had other corpses in it, but her body has no signed of any trauma, until the two start the autopsy, and find many mysteries surrounding her.

*Emma (Ophelia Lovibond) and Tommy (Brian Cox)*

What’s stranger though, is the unusual happenings around them: mysterious figures, the weather suddenly changing… but what is going on?

Watch it and find out!

The relationship between Cox and Hirsch’s characters really make this film. They really do feel like a father and son team, and it’s not just saying the word ‘Dad’, it’s subtle motions and expressions that really feel real.

Øvredal’s direction is magnificent. The mystery of Jane Doe’s corpse is so slowly revealed, and is so preposterous but somehow it never becomes ridiculous. The whole thing is played so strictly straight that at no time are you inclined to find any of it amusing. Throughout it bucks trends and tortures us with expectations that either don’t pay off, or pay off differently than you expect.

One can’t talk about this film without mentioning Kelly’s performances as the corpse as well. Kelly is a stunning woman and is naked and immobile through the entire thing, but also is in no way alluring. The dichotomy of this exposure to appealing nudity that has no appeal due to whatever it is that stops it… we know she’s not a corpse, right, so that can’t be it! Øvredal talks about how impressed he was with her performances, and the courage any woman would have being naked every day for 5 weeks amongst all the people required to make a film.

The only other time I’ve seen something like this in a film was Mathilda May in Lifeforce.

Basically, I can’t recommend this film enough. I think it’s not just one of the best post-millenium horror films, but it’s also one of the best horror films ever, and when you consider I don’t rate supernatural ghostly films, that’s the highest praise I can offer.

Extras: This UK Bluray release of the film only has one extra and it only goes for 5 minutes but that’s far and away ahead of Umbrella Entertainment’s bareass DVD release here in Australia. We have here on this disc is an interview by Alan Jones (no, not Australia’s Alan Jones, the good one from the UK) with André Øvredal, where they discuss casting and all of that sort of stuff… well, as much as 5 minutes allows, anyway.

Film: 10/10

Extras: 3/10

Rewatchability: 10/10

This Bluray was purchased from an EBay reseller.

Girls Nite Out aka The Scaremaker (1982)

November 15, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 80s, arrow video, bluray, horror, Slasher | Leave a comment

Girls Nite Out aka The Scaremaker (1982)

*The cover to Arrow Video’s bluray release*

When you watch a lot of horror… too much? No, never… but a LOT of horror, especially stuff from back in the 80s, when you get to my age, the memory gets fuzzy and you can’t quite remember if you have seen stuff or not.

Now I am sure I saw a cover of a VHS of The Scaremaker, and the villain of the piece looks VERY familiar, but I’m just not sure if I have ACTUALLY seen this or not. I don’t think I saw the VHS cover in person though, it may have been in a magazine or something.

This film was directed by Robert Duebel who other than some American Playhouse stuff, didn’t seem to stay in genre filmmaking which honestly, and I’m burying the lead here some what, is probably for the best.

*Lynn (Julia Montgomery) looks on in amusement*

Every year at Dewitt College (played by Upsala College in New Jersey which closed in 1995… probably out of embarrassment), the sorority houses engage in a scavenger hunt the night after the basketball team win their championship game, and this year is no different!

The girls are looking forward to a lot of fun, and our tale follows Lynn (Julia Montgomery), Dawn (Suzanne Barnes), Sheila (Lauren-Marie Taylor), Jane (Laura Summer) and Kathy (Carrick Glenn), amongst others on the hunt but what they don’t realise is that they are being stalked by a manic who is dressed in a modified version of the school mascot, a bear… with knives installed in its paws.

Who will survive? Is it gory? Is nudity involved? Will we be entertained?

Ok, so I won’t answer the first question for spoiler reasons, but the answer to the last three questions is n not really, no and probably not.

This film does have a bit of blood in it and the killers costume, whilst clunky, is a standout, though probably impractical. It’s does not have the 80s slasher trope of nudity, which is unusual, and made even more weird by the slutty behaviour of some of the characters: you know what I mean, those female characters who usually flash, put out and then become victims. Right or wrong is not what I’m judging here, I’m just saying it’s an odd trend buck for the period of slasher films.

*The janitor is going to be disappointed with the state of the locker room*

Now the Bluray does make reference to the multiple sources to make this ‘complete’ version but whether it was the filmmaking or Arrow Videos sources, I found the film to be FAR to dark and some points. I also have to say it took me several goes to get through the film as I found myself getting bored through it. Actually, I did have fun spotting actors from other films that didn’t go on to become big names, and I was constantly saying stuff like ‘that’s the guy from Creepshow 2!

Girls Nite Out is strange in that it feels like a slasher made for or by Christian Television; there is this weird ‘nice’ vibe about it. Now I understand that ‘nice’ isn’t an insult in general, but it is meant as one here. This film commits the biggest crime a film can make; it’s just boring.

At least it had Carrick Glenn in it who I loved in The Burning.

Extras: It’s Arrow Video so of course there is a fine bunch of extras on this disc.

Commentary by Justin Karswell and Amanda Reyes

Staying Alive is an interview with actress Julie Montgomery who played Lynn Conners. She talks about her acting and modelling history and is delightfully animated and really engaging. A great interview.

A Savage Mauling is an interview with Laura Summer who played Jane. More fun recollections of the making of the film.

Alone in the Dark is another interview, this time with Lois Robbin’s who played Leslie Peterson. As above, so below.

It Was A Party! is yet another interview but this time with Paul Christie, who played Dancer, still more recollections and career reviews.

Love & Death is yet ANOTHER interview but with Lauren-Marie Taylor and John Didrichson, who played Sheila and Ralph respectively.

These interviews were great but the absence of Carrick Glenn, my favourite of this film and of the film The Burning, was disappointing!

Archival Interview is another interview with Julie Montgomery but from several years ago. More of the same, really.

Alternate Title Card shows the beginning but with The Scaremaker title card instead.

Original trailers gives us both a Girls Nite Out and a The Scaremaker trailer. The Girls Nite Out trailer is a bizarre thing as it features someone not in the film, talking about being scared.

Film: 3/10

Extras: 8/10

Rewatchability: 1/10, unless like me you couldn’t get through it in one go.

*The man versus bear debate was never more real*

This Bluray was purchased from Metal Movies

MADHOUSE aka THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL (1981)

November 1, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 80s, arrow video, bluray, horror | Leave a comment

MADHOUSE (1981)

*The cover to Arrow Video’s release of Madhouse*

There was a little girl who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good,

And when she was bad, she was horrid.

This is the poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that Ovidio G. Assonitis (Man from Deep River) developed into a script, initially with Roberto Gandus (Macabre) until creative differences split them and it went to Stephen Blakely (his only credit according to IMDB) to finish. Assonitis also took on the role of director for this film.

Madhouse, aka There was A little Girl, is probably better known as one of the films on the 39 notorious prosecuted Video Nasty films in the UK in 1984, along with better known films as I Spit on Your Grave and Last House on the Left. There’s an amazing documentary about these films by Jake West called Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship and Videotape from 2010 which really digs into the nitty gritty of the whole time which I can’t recommend enough! There’s also a sequel which furthers the history called Video Nasties: Draconian Days, also worth a watch.

Madhouse tells the tale of Julia Sullivan (Patricia Mickey) is a young and successful schoolteacher at a school for the deaf, living in Savannah, Georgia. As her birthday approaches, she’s haunted by the traumatic memories of her childhood and her violent, disturbed twin sister, Mary (Allison Biggers). The two were inseparable as children until Mary’s increasingly erratic behavior, included cruel violence and resentment towards her sister, led to her being institutionalised.

*Enter porno-stached male lead, Sam (Michael MacRae)*

Years later, Julia learns that Mary has escaped from the asylum.

Suddenly, people close to Julia begin turning up dead in brutal ways. As Julia’s sanity begins to unravel, she’s drawn into a terrifying game of cat and mouse, where family secrets, religious guilt, and deep psychological scars collide in a house filled with darkness.

In the final, twisted confrontation, Julia must face not only her deranged sister but the truth about her past—and survive a birthday she’ll never forget…

My first question is… how the heck have I never seen this film? It reminds me of The Burning in so much as it ignores the standard tropes of the slasher films that, at the time of release, were becoming popular and did something a little different. The story is engaging and interesting and the cast are great.

*Seriously, don’t trust a dog in a horror movie*

I understand why it was a video nasty as it has come violence against children and some animal cruelty, even though the animal is obviously fake, so be warned if that sort of stuff effects your enjoyment.

Not me though, I loved it. I’m sure it’s going to become a regular on my movie rewatch rotation!

*The menu screen for the Madhouse Bluray*

Extras: Arrow Video consistently provide good extras and this disc is no exception!

Audio Commentary with The Hysteria Continues

Running the Madhouse is an interview with Edith Ivey, who played Amantha (come on, is it Samantha or Amanda: pick a lane), the landlord in the film. There is some very nice recollections on the making of the film and the language issues between cast and crew.

Framing Fear is an interview with cinematographer Roberto D’Ettorre Piazzoli and he goes through his career and the making of Madhouse.

Ovidio Nasty talks about the film and the response in the UK in 1984.

Alternate Opening Titles and Original Trailer are nice additions.

Film: 8/10

Extras: 7/10

Rewatchability: 8/10

Purchased from Metal Movies on eBay

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT (2022)

October 25, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged bluray, Nicolas cage, Pedro pascal | Leave a comment

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT (2022)

*The cover to the Australian 4K release*

One cannot merely walk into Nic-toberfest without discussing a film that is a love letter to the actor himself. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is unusual in so much as it’s not an ego piece because initially when writer/ director Tom Gormican and writer Kevin Etten, he rejected it hard, and it wasn’t until he received a letter from Etten declaring it wasn’t a skit or an insult, it was a dedicated love letter to the man and his career, and that he wasn’t essentially playing himself, he was playing a version of himself: ‘Nick Cage’.

Note the spelling.

This whole Nic-toberfest that I run here on Digital Retribtuion is a tribute to Cage, and his 40 years in cinema . I know he has become a meme from this film, and people love the 1990 appearance on Wogan in the UK where he cartwheels into the show, karate kicks and throws money into the audience, but he’s made such a variety of hits and misses that he’s always entertaining, and aren’t we entertained by him no matter how bad the film is?!? Cage is a fan of the creative arts and I do admire his love dearly, and I hope I am able to maintain my love of pop culture the way he has.

Anyway, enough fanboying… and let’s review a film all about fanboying!

Nick Cage (Nicolas Cage) is having lots of trouble in his life; he can’t get work, and his daughter, Addy (Lily Mo Sheen), thinks he is an idiot… teenagers, right? He has decided to quit acting but is taking one last job of going to a birthday party, offered to him by his agent, Richard Fink (Neil Patrick Harris) for a fee of $1,000,000 which will round up his outstanding bills.

This last gig is at the property of Javi Gutierrez (Pedro Pascal), who has written a script for him and is disturbed by his announcement of retirement. Before he goes to the property though, a fan at the airport, Vivian (Tiffany Haddish), slips a device into his pocket, and very quickly, Nick is involved in a plot involving American government agents and arms dealers.

I normally hate this kind of stuff, and that’s not to say I don’t love a good comedy, but this meta/ written by the internet/ meme-ish junk I just find stupid. That being said, I may have been bitten by The Machine with Burt Kreischer and Mark Hamill, which was the first film I saw at the cinema after the COVID lockdowns.

Covid was easy, that film made me hate cinema for about 6 months.

The thing that is fun about this film is is that it’s the bastard son of a romantic comedy (Cage’s and Pascal’s bromance) and a spy thriller, with a dash of mystery thrown in. Cage is clearly playing a parody of himself, and the appearance of his Id (or is it Ego, I can never remember) in the form of Nicky, him playing a younger arrogant version of himself, is hilarious and responsible for a scene that finally made me understand what ‘the Ick’ is.

… and if you think Cage’s performances are over the top, he exceeds himself here, and is matched beautifully by the insanity that is Pedro Pascal’s performance. Pascal plays the self-spoilt brat fan with so much gusto that it’s hard to remember his reserved performance as Din Djarin in Disney’s The Mandalorian. The scene of them dropping acid together is both ridiculous and fun at the same time.

Honestly, these over the top antics are replicated by many of the other cast as well, with Sharon Horgan as his ex-wife, and the aforementioned Sheen being the anchors in reality, giving the over the top performances an opportunity to really be silly and fun.

Here’s the problem though; I enjoyed some of the scenes, I thought the bromance was amusing, and recognising the meme in cinema form (you know the one, with Cage and a pascal looking at each other in a car) was fun, but essentially, it’s totally disposable. The script can’t exist without Cage, and I’m sure the other actors would not have been involved if Cage hadn’t put his hand up to do it, which he didn’t want to at first.

There’s some great stunts, a few funny moments but it is unnecessarily far too long. It’s a 90 minute script milked to almost 2 and a half hours, which it certainly did NOT need to be.

I’m a big Cage fan, obviously (it’s why Nic-toberfest exists!) but this doesn’t sit well with me much at all.

*The menu screen for the Australian 4K release*

Extras: A decent bunch of extras on this 4k disc.

Audio commentary and Deleted scenes (with optional commentary) by Gormican and Etten are certainly a love letter to Cage and cinema in general.

The Mind discusses Gormican and Etten’s ideas for a film where Nic Cage plays the actor Nick Cage, and selecting the other cast for the project.

Glimmers of a Bygone Age looks into the recreation of some of Cage’s older performances.

Everybody Needs a Javi investigates Pascal’s portrayal of Javi.

Nick, Nicky and Sergio looks into the idea of Nicky: the ultimate version of Cage that acts as his conscious? Advisor? It’s probably a Jiminy Cricket role. Sergio is a role he plays within the film who is a mafioso, and is a ball of fun as well.

Second Act Action is all about the stunts, and it’s always interesting to watch this sort of stuff.

Cages 5 and Up looks at a bunch of kids acting as Cage. The one doing ‘THE BEES!!’ Is gold.

SXSW Film Festival Q&A is a 15 minute Q&A after the screening of the film.

You can also weirdly set bookmarks on the disc and find them here… does anyone still do that?

Film: 4/10